Triceratops

My son is both amazing and absolutely, abjectly terrifying. He has no regard for his physical well being, or the precious brain encapsulated in his still forming skull. He enjoys sprinting or galloping full force toward anything at all, with his head poised as a battering ram. As with most babies and toddlers, he's gotten his share of bumps and bruises - all of them centrally located on his forehead.

It's a delicate balance between wanting to wrap him up in bubble wrap, then a blanket, then another layer of bubble wrap, and allowing him to run freely as the wild child he is. And no matter the level of baby-proofing you attempt to enshroud your home in, these flying-freewheeling wells of endless physical energy will inevitably smash into something - even if that something is the floor. Yes, baby jellyfish is a fan of dancing to the point where he can no longer stand, and then on all fours thrusts his head directly onto the ground. Lips peeling back off my face in a look of horror, I pick my screaming monster up and comfort him with the loving tendrils of a mama jellyfish. And wonder what the hell is wrong with him, that he would ever do something so insane.

It's a point that you have to accept - pure, unbridled insanity. While sometimes I can logically follow his train of thought (look, something over there that you don't want me to have or touch - I want it!), most of the time I am left wondering where his conclusions came from. Like the Sherlock Holmes of mothers, I dissect his imaginary thoughts and subsequent actions and to my husband, who gives me a candid look indicating I am being just as illogical by trying to ascribe logic at all. Usually followed by my rationalization that "something is going on in there". Indeed, something.

One of his first words beyond mama and dada was "hot". A testament, I think, to our commitment to safety. Unfortunately, it means relatively little to him, as he then reaches directly for the hot object, looking to burn or scald himself in some way. Still, we clap and praise him for the knowledge that he has, all the while my stomach churning in some combination of nausea and IBS.

Must. Resist. Bubblewrap.